Every day it's a constant barrage of noise. All of us, apparently, have to make some big changes-and now---or else you'll never get a date again. All for 3 easy payments of $49.95.
Oh, come on. Are we really this gullible? Lately I've been paying attention to media, especially advertising, and realizing more than ever how we are getting played. Think about it.
Virtually everything communicated to us in the commercial media is designed to sell a product, further a cause, etc. Extraordinarily often, this plays upon our feelings of worthiness to attract "hotties". Right? One of my favorite recent commercials is the one where the guy and girl make eye contact while on stopped streetcars headed in opposite directions. Quickly the guy springs up to get off his ride and hopefully catch the other one so he can meet the woman.
Unsuccessful?he is dejected when both streetcars leave, only to find that the woman had done the same thing (!) There they are standing across from each other, and it's presumably 'on'. What a great commercial, and what a picture perfect example of a "romantic moment". Except for one curious thing?it's for a pair of guys pants. How in the world did the pants help him in the all-important quest to attract the girl? He was looking out a streetcar window! Where this conversation gets more personal is when it involves things we are perceived to have to change in order to get someone to be attracted to us at all. For guys, the easy target has historically been baldness, although nowadays penis size seems to be gaining momentum (that doesn't sound quite right?but you know what I mean).
The latter is another whole topic, so let's talk about what it's like for bald guys. Bald guys have been generally trained by media to be horrified of going bald. Bald guys are remembered as ridiculed in sitcoms and in movies. Bald guys are told no women are interested in a guy without hair, and that they should spend all the money it takes to change it. Now, I happen to have plenty of hair on my head, so I'm an unbiased opinion here. Judging from informal conversations with numerous women, and from what I've seen on online profiles, I think far fewer women are turned off by a receding hairline-or even flat-out baldness-than these commercials would like for us to believe.
You can even go to www.hotornot.com and see the kind of objective ratings guys get for yourself. The numbers don't lie. The website is not called www.hotorbald.
com (check the link-nope). The ladies are fed even more crazy stuff. I saw a mascara ad several years ago where the waiter made a Freudian slip and asked the lady if she wanted something or other to go with her "lashes". What a wakeup call that was to watch. Do you think us guys are really going around paying that much attention to your lashes? We may indirectly notice how long lashes positively affect a woman's attractiveness, but really--I assure you--we aren't obsessing over her eyelashes.
Better example: fashion. Most of us guys, again not a general statement but far more than you are led to believe, really think a woman looks as great in a sweatshirt, sweatpants and ankle sox as she did in that Carolina Herrera gown last night. Really.
Believe it. In fact, the "girl next door" thing in general rules with many, many guys. Don't we all appreciate someone real? This goes for plastic surgery, also.
Informal surveys of my male friends show that we really don't all go for a large breast size. It's true. Believe that also. I can count on both hands the number of guys I know who appreciate women with surgically altered bust lines. How many times have you seen someone who has had a facelift, and immediately thought he or she would have been better off leaving it alone? And the clincher? News flash: Despite everything you've heard, seen, and have had played before your eyes?(are you sitting down for this?)?A LOT of guys don't prefer skinny women.
In fact, some of us out here don't even have a direct preference when it comes to the subject matter of this paragraph or the preceding one. Now, extremism is one thing, and if someone is affected as such s/he should get that handled for health and lifestyle reasons. But for the most part, who a woman is-overall-is going to affect the level of attraction for a guy.
And this thought process appears to apply to both men and women. I've heard lots of women talk about a guy with some "meat on his bones" instead of washboard abs (can't have both). And guess what? Likewise, plenty of guys like curvier women. More guys may think this way than actually will admit publicly, also-likely because of what the media has taught us is attractive. Do we all have "bad taste"? That's subjective-as it should be.
Further, an interesting story was done that showed that men will predictably be attracted to a 7/10 ratio between waist and hips, which also happens to be a good scientific quotient for indicating female fertility, it seems. OK, so why don't all women know this? Because you can't do anything about it. You can't "spot reduce". There are no products to sell, so the media has no interest in telling you this sort of thing. But you have the ability to lose weight generally-if you want to. And you can put on make up, and hair "products" and different clothes.
Darn skippy. And you hear about that all the time. Why? Because there's money in making people feel insecure. And once the ball is rolling, it's a financial bonanza. It's this way in part because of the basic message, and in larger part, I've come to believe, because one can never do enough.
In all actuality it doesn't necessarily get attraction to happen. In fact, the cumulative effect can actually backfire, causing less attraction because of the perceived plasticism or, worse, the insecurity.
Scot McKay's dating strategies for those who refuse to settle for anything less than the ULTIMATE relationship are found at: http://www.relationship-advice.us/. Stop by right now and grab a FREE e-book ($20 value) when you sign up for the X & Y Communications Newsletter, which is always packed with unique and practical dating tips.